On meeting Colonel Kathleen Cook and her children, Matt and Katie, one couldn’t help but instantly like this family.  Moving here due to military assignment, the Cook family quickly made it a priority to become part of the Cheyenne community.

Originally from Virginia, Kathleen first met her late husband, Tom, while serving at Langley Air Force Base.  The two were part of the band; she played trumpet, and he was a vocalist.  The duo married in 1983.  When Kathleen was commissioned in 1987, Tom left the military to become Mr. Mom to their children.

Colonel Cook has an impressive military resume.  From her original enlistment in 1982, she graduated to serve with the 564th Tactical Air Command Band at Langley Air Force Base.  She was commissioned in 1987 after completing Officer Training School, and then was selected to serve as a Public Affairs Officer.  Since that time, she has served in many assignments including deputy chief and chief of Public Affairs at wing level, squadron section commander with the 961st Airborne Warning and Control Squadron at Kadena Air Base, Japan, two assignments at Headquarters, Air Staff, Pentagon, and commanded at the squadron and group level.

After serving at the Pentagon from June 1993 to August 1997, she and Tom requested to be relocated to Cheyenne.  They heard from several people that it was a great place to relocate and the western lifestyle was appealing to family. They were interested in a new atmosphere that was safe and family-oriented. When their request was granted, Kathleen said, “It was a nice surprise.”

When they arrived in Cheyenne, the family quickly became involved in the community.  Tom began substitute teaching for Laramie County School District #1 while the kids were in school.  Soon after, he became a permanent employee at Pioneer Park, where Katie and Matt attended school.

Not long after their relocation, the kids and parents became involved in as much as they could to get plugged into Cheyenne. From 1997 to 2000, the kids played together in Little League Baseball while their dad served as a coach.  In fact, one of those years he was voted as coach of the year. In addition to the sports, Matt was involved in Boy Scouts, Katie in Girl Scouts, and Kathleen served as a Girl Scout troop leader. 

As a family, they found it very easy to connect to the community quickly.  After the hectic pace of the Pentagon, Cheyenne’s slower pace was welcomed and a lot of fun for the Cooks.

Over the years, Kathleen’s community involvement has included Leadership Cheyenne, Central High School Athletic “Family,” playing for the Cheyenne Community Band, participating in Our Families, Our Future, and serving on the Chamber and Military Affairs Committee.

Throughout the years, Colonel Cook had three assignments at FE Warren Air Force Base: 1997-2000, 2004-2007, and again 2008-2009.  Though not all their years in Cheyenne have been consecutive, each family member claims Cheyenne as his or her “home.”

After the loss of Tom, their beloved husband and father in 2006, the community of Cheyenne quickly surrounded the Cooks. Because of their deep involvement in the community, the Wing Commander opened the gates to all the community to enter the base for Tom’s memorial services.  It was such an outpouring of visitors that both chapels were overflowing with those there to extend their condolences.

Tom was a very athletic individual who had a passion for sports, specifically football and the track events of discus and shot-put. He was able to pass some of his love for sports to both of his children. 

The eldest child, Matt, will be a sophomore in the fall and is transferring to Montana State where he will participate in track and major in exercise technology.  As a sophomore at Central High School, Matt played on the team that won the State Championship.  For both him and his father, this was an incredible experience because he was able to achieve this at such a young age and while his father was still with them. 

Katie, also quite the athlete, participated in throwing the discus in track and was a key member of the Central High School swim team.  She holds the record at the school for the 100-meter backstroke. Katie will be a freshman at the University of Wyoming this fall and is excited to see what her future holds.

Both kids’ extra-curricular activities went beyond sports.  Matt was additionally honored to become part of all-state orchestra.  Since 6th grade, Katie has been an active member of her school Senate with the highlight being her three years in Central’s leadership. 

According to Kathleen, when a family moves with the military it becomes crucial for them to get involved in the community to make it their home.  When asked what she has tried to teach her children about life, her response was, “Participate, do for others, contribute to your community, honor your word, be true to yourself, and make a difference in someone’s life.”

A year after the loss of Tom, Kathleen was offered the opportunity to extend her military training in Alabama.  After careful consideration the family packed up their belongings and moved.  It didn’t take long for the kids to realize that Alabama was just not the place for them.  Kathleen said, “The priorities were much different in their school system, it was a bit of a culture shock for all of us.”

Although excelling as the center for the state championship football team, Matt was hospitalized for dehydration several weeks into pre-season practice.  Even the Marines weren’t exercising in the “black flag” Southern heat.  Missing in Katie’s first week of school was any sense of welcome and for both students, the lack of advanced classes and variety was a disappointment.  A few days later there was an act of violence at the school that was a last straw.  After many calls back to their Cheyenne family, Kathleen decided that they were better off living with friends in Cheyenne while she finished her training.  That year the kids lived with friends in the community while mom and the kids made many trips back and forth.  According to Kathleen, it was an incredible testament to the community of Cheyenne.  Their friends took in the kids and helped to raise them in the community to which they had so many connections and to provide continuity in their lives.

Not only the friends were there, the school board, principals, teachers, and coaches were amazingly helpful as well.  Kathleen added, “The Laramie County School District #1 school board is great.  I have very strong feelings about our school district.  They truly act on their priorities for the students.”

As we were interviewing for this article, Colonel Kathleen Cook was yet again being moved to another location in the Air Force.  She will now be stationed in Omaha, Nebraska.  We are truly losing a gem of our community but such is the life of the military.

When asked if she will return, Kathleen emphatically replied, “Of course! My kids are still in the area and I will always be looking for a fourth reason to come back. Cheyenne is in my heart and is our home.”

In this series of articles on finding and following our “true north,” we have examined the importance of key areas in our lives that help us stay true to our goals and arrive at our destination.  We have examined the strategic areas of relationships, finances, time-management, and work.  Another one of the strategic cairns on our journey of life is emotional health.  As with the importance of our physical health, emotional health affects the way we handle stress, deal with crisis, function in relationship to others, and your own senses of confidence and esteem.

Dr. Jeanne Segal, Ph.D, author of Raising Your Emotional Intelligence, states that, “Mental or emotional health refers to your overall psychological well-being.  It includes the way you feel about yourself, the quality of your relationships, and your ability to manage your feelings and deal with difficulties.”  There is also a strong connection between physical health and emotional health.  Exercise and eating right can definitely enhance the way we feel and sense of well-being.  Also just making choices for positive changes in your life like choosing to take a walk, releases energizing endorphins and can boost mood.  Dr. Segal says, “Taking care of your body is a powerful first step towards emotional health.  The mind and body are linked.  When you improve your physical health, you’ll automatically feel greater mental and emotional well-being.”
Listed below are some key things Dr. Segal finds are present in people who are mentally and emotionally healthy:

Sense of Contentment
Zest for Living
Ability to Deal with Stress
Sense of Meaning and Purpose
Flexibility
Ability to Build and Maintain Healthy Relationships
Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

One of the key areas we have already focused on in this series is that of relationships.  Strong, healthy relationships are tied in closely to our emotional well-being.  Spending time with people, talking and touching, serving others, relying on others, and feeling connected are all important to our overall health.  Studies have shown over and over that even the companionship of a pet can boost mood, alleviate loneliness, get us moving and outdoors, and connect us to others.  We are not meant to live in isolation.  From the beginning in the very first garden, God stated regarding the first man, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.”  If we find ourselves alone due to circumstance in life such as a death or a move, join a group in the area that shares your interests, such as a garden clubs, a church, volunteer at a non-profit organization, and take the first step to connect with others.

Some bad habits that can eat away at our mental and emotional health and throw us off course are worry, fear and depression.  If this is a cycle of thinking you find yourself in, go to those people in your support system and let them know what you are struggling with so they can support and encourage you.  Seek professional help.  Just as you wouldn’t think twice about heading to a doctor for a physical ailment, you shouldn’t hesitate to find a qualified counselor to help with your mental heath.

Build time into life for leisure and relaxation.  The old adage about the bow string that is always strung too tight is true.  We must have “down time” in order to be better able to cope with the inevitable stress and crises that will arise.  Dr. Steve Hobfoll, Ph. D, and Professor of Psychology at Kent State University, says, “Carve out hours that contribute to yourself and your relationship(s).“ In her book, Slow is Beautiful, Cecile Andrews reflects on the importance of down time this way, “Psychologists find play to be important for healthy relationships, strong families, and even spiritual growth.  Play can make you forget about anger, worry, and anxiety.”  Fun and relaxation are important to emotional well-being.

Lastly, in this simple overview of emotional health, a very important thing for anyone to do to bring perspective is to be appreciative.  That is simply another way to say take time to smell the roses.  Take a look around and contemplate the many things in life to be thankful for.  Looking at the sunset, enjoying grandchildren and being grateful the car starts are simple things with big rewards.  Focusing on the positive in life can make us see more clearly the beauty and good things in life.  Just as choosing to get up off the sofa and take a walk provides physical benefits, we can choose to take a look around us and count blessings adding some mental muscle and improve our overall health.  Greg Anderson, founder of the American Wellness Project, states it well. “The concept of total wellness recognizes that our every thought, word, and behavior affects our greater health and well-being. And we, in turn, are affected not only emotionally but also physically and spiritually.”

Two brothers, who lived across the road from one another, went to their graves not speaking to each other for over 40 years.  The source of their great divide was bitterness and anger over the way the line fell when their inheritances were divided up.  One got the “main” farm house and the other got the little house across the road.  They lost the relationship of their only brother because of a few square feet that is now being reclaimed by the prairie. Proverbs 18:19 reminds us, “An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.  Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.”  (New Living Translation)

I know of a married couple who live “together” but live completely separate lives.  Their friends who truly know and love them have thought more than once how they are perfect for one another and well-suited to each other, and yet 20 years of them letting little grievances and annoyances build up has resulted in a dam built that holds back their emotions, joy, and friendship.  This has resulted in a completely dried up relationship that is non-existent, other than sharing children and a roof. 

There are adult children who haven’t spoke to their parents or siblings in years.  There are married people sitting at the tables together this evening who truly haven’t cared for one another for years.  There are people who are going through life miserable because of damaged relationships in their lives. 

What can one do to mend a broken relationship?  This article is in no way intending to oversimplify the deep complexity of relationships or to diminish efforts made by those who wish to have a healthy relationship with a loved one.  We are going to present some very simple, though often extremely difficult, steps to take to mend relationships. 

The key to unlocking the door of bitterness and stepping through to the path leading to a healthy, restored relationship is forgiveness.  You must either ask for forgiveness or offer forgiveness, depending on the circumstance.  Often both must be done.  This is perhaps one of the simplest, yet most difficult things to do in this world.  It is incredibly humbling to go to someone you have alienated yourself from, and ask for forgiveness.  It is also incredibly humbling to give forgiveness to someone you would rather call down hellfire and brimstone on, rather than offer an olive branch.  You must be willing to take the first step towards reconciliation, even if you feel like that is the other person’s responsibility.  If you maintain an attitude of “I’ll meet them half way IF they take the first step,” you will spend your life living across the street from your brother, but never communicating with him, because of stubborn pride that holds you paralyzed from initiating that first step. 

Sometimes the forgiveness that is needed to begin to heal a relationship is the forgiveness you must offer to yourself.  Living in regret and beating yourself up for failure on your part is just another way to hobble a relationship and prevent you from being able to move forward towards restoration.  If you have blown it, then admit it.  Admit you are human.  Forgive yourself and ask forgiveness of those you have offended.  I have heard parents comment they don’t want to try again in a relationship because they have blown it too much in the past, and they expect to blow it in the future.  So you blew it…welcome to humanity.  Don’t keep people at arms length because you want perfection or nothing.   

Relationships are messy and complicated, but oh so worth the effort.  I know of two siblings who have a strained relationship that began with some harsh words as children.  Since that time, every word or action goes through a filter where they expect the other to be in opposition to them.  They are now both in their 40s and when their family gets together everyone feels the tension, because they cannot say “I’m sorry, will you forgive me?”  Many people and multiple generations would be affected for good, if they would forgive.  Why wait for the death bed to reconcile when you can enjoy a lifetime of moments spent together enjoying one another’s company and support.  Why cripple the next generation with an example bitterness, revenge and unforgiveness?  

I have an amazingly clear childhood memory of being on vacation in the Ozarks with my parents.  During the course of the vacation, tension came up between my parents, harsh words were exchanged, and doors were slammed.  I remember being so distressed and yet feeling utterly helpless as a child to know what to do.  The next day we headed off to a fish hatchery.  I was walking along and feeding the fish and glanced up to see my parents across the water walking side by side, hand in hand.  The joy and peace that flooded me as a child was nearly tangible in response to seeing them together.  It was a great lesson that things can be forgiven and relationships can go on.  A disagreement doesn’t have to be layer one in the dam of an unhealthy relationship, unless you choose to let it be.   

Asking forgiveness is often easier than giving forgiveness.  When we have been offended and hurt, we want the one who offended us to suffer, as we have.  We want them to be publicly exposed for the hateful things they have said and done in secret.  As long as you choose to not forgive someone, you lock YOURSELF in a prison and stand there holding the key, feeling smug and self-righteous, blind to the fact that you have just completely shut down your ability to be in a healthy relationship.  Sometimes you must give forgiveness even when the other person has not asked for it, and certainly does not deserve it.  That is one of the most difficult things to do since you are offering a rare and precious thing, but there is no one to accept or acknowledge it, other than yourself.  However, in instances where the person

you need to forgive is dead, their location is unknown, they are remarried, or the relationship is so harmful that you cannot be with them; you can forgive someone, walk on from that negative hurtful relationship and be involved in other healthy relationships.  Giving forgiveness does not mean you have to best friends, but it does mean you can now move on to healthy relationships without a bitterness producing, joy sapping relationship in your past.   I have heard people say they don’t want to forgive because they feel they will be letting the other person off the hook.  The reality is you will be letting yourself off the hook, opening the door to the possibility of a restored relationship, and paving the way to content in your other relationships.  Lewis B. Smede said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” 

So, if you have a relationship that is strained and damaged, I encourage you to reach across the table, walk across the street, pick up that phone, and ask forgiveness.  If you need to forgive someone, do so, and you will unlock yourself from a cell of bitterness and walk out free.  The wisest man to ever live, King Solomon, reminds us, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”  Proverbs 17:9.  The choice to forgive or not to forgive is truly yours.  The choice to pass on a legacy of showing true love and forgiveness is yours to have or lose.  I hope you will chose to take the key of forgiveness and walk across the street to let your “brother” know you are sorry, you love him, and you forgive him.  

This month we will follow up on last month’s article about relationships by looking at what it takes to establish and nurture healthy relationships in our lives. Have you determined what relationships define who you are? As mentioned last month, your network or “matrix” of relationships makes you unique and defines you in relation to other people. But how can you build and sustain healthy relationships?

Life by nature is messy and since none of us are perfect, even the best of relationships is full of challenges and potential pitfalls. The key to healthy relationships in life is being able to successfully navigate through the inevitable storms of life. This month we hope to share some principles we’ve learned personally and gleaned from others to help you build and nurture healthy relationships so that you can successfully navigate through the storms that life brings our way.

First, it is critical in your most intimate relationships to have someone close to you who shares your core values. Abraham Lincoln once quoted Matthew 12:25: “…Every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”

Amos 3:3 clearly illustrates the importance of shared core values when he says: “Do two walk together unless they be agreed?” When you embark on your most intimate relationships with someone who does not share your core values, you set yourself up for conflict on important issues. Imagine parenting with someone who does not share your core values. Imagine the conflict when one spouse values truth and the other places a low value on honesty. This will result in tension and turmoil throughout the relationship. It is a great benefit to you, as an individual, to be with someone who doesn’t think the exact same way you do. While being with someone who has a different personality and different likes and interests is important, having similar core values such as faith and communication can be the rock in a relationship. Core values reflect the direction of your life. The impact they have on your decisions greatly affects the journey you are on, and the goals and outcomes you have for the journey.

Willadean Chamberlain is a Christian counselor in Cheyenne who counsels adults, adolescents, individuals, couples, and groups regarding life adjustments relationships, depression, anxiety, fear, and grief.  She was a tremendous help on this article and offered her expertise after years of counseling and meeting with people who are in unhealthy relationships, working to build healthy relationships, and mending broken relationships. Chamberlain emphasized three keys to healthy relationships: choices, commitment, and communication.

Relationships require flexibility and making choices with the effects of loved ones in mind.  For example a father may decline to an extra-curricular activity because he realizes that, although he would enjoy the activity, he will be taking valuable time away from his children. These kinds of choices build and nurture healthy relationships. We have all known people in business and in families who have suffered greatly because the people they were in relationships with did not have integrity when it came to their finances.

We remember listening to a young wife with a toddler share her grief after learning her husband made the choice to buy himself some very expensive snake skin cowboy boots when they did not have the money for their rent or their living expenses that month. His choice were a reflection of his core values. When a choice is made for self, trust is damaged and isolation can begin to occur in the relationship. These kinds of selfish choices prevent and destroy healthy relationships. People in healthy relationships make choices that are centered on others.

Commitment is also a key ingredient in building and nurturing healthy relationships because commitment strengthens trust in a relationship. Can a relationship without commitment really be considered a relationship at all? Being committed in a relationship means to place a value on the other person and the relationship. In the context of our most intimate relationships such as parent/child, marriage, and/or best friends, this commitment means that we accept the other person for who they are and not because of what they can give.

Commitment means taking the good, the bad, and the ugly. In our marriage, we’ve made the commitment that we have two options when we face disagreements and tough times. We can either work through the issue to resolution or be miserable. Since neither of us enjoys being miserable, we’ve committed to working through our problems. There are times when the grass may seem greener on the other side of the fence, but the truth is usually misleading. When we abandon a relationship without working through the root issues, we simply pack up our baggage and take it with us to the next relationship.

Relationships are messy things –full of disappointments as well as incredible joy, but they never come easy. They always require a lot of effort. Commitment enables you to reap the rare joys of the deepest of relationships that are forged through the fires of difficulties and differences. Hang in there! It’s worth it.

Finally, communication is another integral part of any healthy relationship. Good communication involves listening with interest, confronting gently, thinking before speaking, and choosing our words wisely. Sometimes if you feel something absolutely must be said, ask yourself if it needs to be said right that moment or if a little “step-back” time and perspective might be a wise course before speaking. In our marriage, we have built a trust relationship based on knowing we will not give a bad report of one another to friends or family. We will talk through issues as they come and do so with respect. There is passion and strong opinion, but that doesn’t mean the conversation must be damaging and pugnacious.  A fantastic book on communication for any couple is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He explores the different ways individuals communicate their love and how to communicate well to your loved one based on their love language. We highly recommend this book as fun and interesting reading that will improve your communication skills and relationships in a way that is practical and very simple.

With the help of our friend Willadeen Chamberlain, we propose four “C’s” to help you build and nurture healthy relationships in your life: core values, choices, commitment, and communication. We challenge you to evaluate these key elements in your most important relationships, and identify where and how you can take steps to make those relationships more healthy and fulfilling. The key to climbing the tallest mountain is taking the first step. Identify your first step and take it you’ll  soon be on your way to healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Are you at an impasse in a relationship? Next month we will look at some steps to mend broken relationships.

Businesses are challenged by chronic labor shortages while people with disabilities represent the largest untapped source of skilled and deeply loyal laborers.  According to the U. S. Census Bureau, about 49.7 million Americans have a disability.  “July of 2009 found the percentage of people with disabilities in the labor force at twenty-three, compared to the rate of 71.8% for nondisabled persons in America (www.disabled-world.com), August 2009).”  Individuals who have disabilities want to work!  Congress designated every October as National Disability Employment Awareness Month to increase the public’s awareness of the contributions and skills of American workers with disabilities.  This year’s theme is “Expectations + Opportunity = Full Participation.”

Every person has an inherent right to work; we must ensure equal opportunities for everyone in America.  However, there continue to be obstacles preventing individuals with disabilities from achieving their maximum potential as employees.  The U.S. Department of Labor’s Office of Disability Employment Policy (ODEP) has the goal of removing these obstacles.  Their work primarily falls into three categories: employers and the workplace; workforce systems; and employment-related supports, which include education and training, health care, reliable transportation, affordable housing, and assistive technology (ODEP News Release, 03/18/2009).

Most American workers receive some type of “employment support.”  Employment supports are any benefits, services, policies, equipment, and tools that make it possible for employers to hire, retain, and advance valuable employees and that allow us to get to work and perform our job duties in the best way possible.  Computers, copiers, fax machines, and phones are all examples of these supports.  Many employers provide benefits like health insurance, flexible work hours, subsidies for transportation, and access to child care.  Without some of these supports, many Americans would not be able to work.  The same holds true for people with disabilities, although their supports may look a bit different than the typical ones many of us take for granted.

Some individuals require assistance in their homes when preparing to go to work.  This may be comprised of bathing, dressing, meal preparation, and similar activities.  For those individuals in need of mobility assistance, transportation can be provided to go to job interviews, trainings, and to and from the workplace.  Personal Assistance Services (PAS) while on the job will vary according to the needs of the person and can include providing sign language interpretation or reading materials aloud for employees with visual impairments.  For individuals with disabilities, technology can make the difference between no opportunities to engage in work related tasks to full participation.  Assistive technology comes in many forms and can be simple and inexpensive additions to employer-provided materials: enlarged keyboards, headlamps, telephone headsets, portable magnifiers, enlarged buttons or switches, bigger monitors with touch screens, glare guards, vibrating pagers, and flashing lights, to name a few.  “It can also represent the latest in today’s cutting-edge technology, such as voice-activated computers, visually-controlled communication devices, or electric scooters and power wheelchairs that can navigate stairs (ODEP Web Site, acquired 9/14/09).” 

A wonderful web site, www.jn.wvu.edu, the Job Accommodation Network (JAN), provides information to employers and workers with disabilities regarding job accommodation options, entrepreneurship, and related topics.  JAN consultants are highly-trained and available to assist (free of charge) with specific job situations as they are encountered.  Employers have the responsibility, through the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), to provide reasonable accommodations for employees with physical or mental limitations, which are “any change or adjustment to a job or work environment that permits a qualified applicant or employee with a disability to participate in the job application process, to perform the essential functions of a job, or to enjoy benefits and privileges of employment equal to those enjoyed by employees without disabilities (The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission).” Business owners who make accommodations for individuals with disabilities may be eligible for tax credits and deductions.

Individuals with disabilities have the ability to work; they want to work, and they can work.  According to surveys, it is common for employers to want to hire more people with disabilities once they find out how hard working and dedicated people with disabilities tend to be as employees.  Employers are encouraged to provide individuals with disabilities equal opportunities to succeed in the workplace.

Last month, I described a common developmental condition known as autism. Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), or Asperger’s Disorder, is also one of the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and is characterized by deficits in social interaction and demonstrating eccentric, repetitive, and/or restricted patterns of behavior, activities, and interests. Although people with AS have some traits of Autism, children with Asperger’s do not have delays in the area of communication and language. In fact, to be diagnosed with Asperger’s, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition (DSM IV-TR), “A child must have normal language development as well as average to above average intelligence.”

Intense preoccupation with a specific subject, having unusual speech patterns, and motor difficulties are typical of the condition, but not required for diagnosis. One ASD expert, Professor Uta Frith, with the Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience of University College London, referred to Asperger’s children as “having a dash of Autism” (Explaining the Enigma, Blackwell Publishing, 1992).

Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician, first explicated the syndrome in 1944 when he described children in his practice that lacked nonverbal communication skills, demonstrated limited empathy with their peers, and were physically clumsy. Asperger’s Syndrome wasn’t recognized by the scientific community as a disorder until the early 90’s, and there is ongoing ambiguity among researchers regarding the differentiation between Asperger’s and high-functioning autism. Like autism, the exact cause of Asperger’s Syndrome is unknown, although it tends to run in families and research supports the likelihood of a genetic basis.

One of the major differences between Asperger’s Syndrome and autism is there are no speech delays with AS. In fact, children with AS frequently have good language skills, but “they use language in different ways” (www.autism-society.org). Speech patterns may be unusual, such as using an excessive amount of words when speaking (going into long-winded monologues seemingly to themselves), lacking inflection or emphasis, having a sing-song quality or speech may be quite formal, but inappropriately loud or high pitched. At times, someone with AS might fail to suppress their internal thoughts.

Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome seem to have problems with interpretation. They may not understand the subtleties of language, such as sarcasm, irony, and humor, and they will most likely have difficulty with figurative language and abstract concepts; words said in a teasing manner would most likely be taken as literal. Most people with AS can seem disconnected during conversations, have poor eye contact, and may not understand the use of gestures or other body language, such as misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener’s feelings or reactions, like having a need to leave.

Children with autism are frequently seen as detached and indifferent to other people. This is not the case with individuals who have Asperger’s Syndrome. “Individuals with Asperger’s Disorder usually want to fit in and have interaction with others; they simply don’t know how to do it” (Autism Society of America web-site, 2009).

They can be socially awkward and fail to develop friendships, yet they are not usually withdrawn around others; rather, they approach peers and adults, but rarely seek out common enjoyments or share achievements with others. Asperger’s effected individuals do not possess a basic understanding of conventional social rules and commonly show a lack of empathy. Most children with Autism Spectrum Disorders seem to have tremendous difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interaction and many adhere to inflexible routines or schedules.

Interests in a particular subject or activity are often abnormally intense or focused, and may border obsessive. Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome frequently collect categories of things, such as cars, rocks, or rubber bands, which they might repeatedly sort or line up in a specific order. They may verse themselves in extremely detailed information on a relatively narrow topic or preoccupy themselves with parts of objects without actually having a real interest, or even understanding of, the larger subject. For example, a child might memorize camera parts or model numbers while caring little about photography (WebMD.com). These fixations usually allow little time or desire for more age appropriate interests common to their peer group.

Like autism, no two people with the disorder are exactly alike, and there is no single treatment that is reliable for individuals with Asperger’s, only skills training which is rehabilitative in nature. However, the prognosis will likely be improved by intervening early. Some signs to look for include not having any real friends, inability to accept change, angry outbursts, low self-esteem, disorganized, can’t play well with others, demonstrates little cooperation, clumsy, and rambling speech. Education about AS for families is critical for understanding strengths and weaknesses and to develop strategies to help build confidence and skills. Using set rules and daily routines, visual aids, and role-playing various daily situations can greatly support a child dealing with the effects of Asperger’s (www.cigna.com/healthinfo, 2009).

To learn more about Asperger’s Syndrome or other Autism Spectrum Disorders, visit with your local physician, school counselor, or consult reputable web sites such as the National Institute of Mental Health, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, and the Autism Spectrum Disorder Foundation.

If you have watched television at all in the past six months, no doubt you have viewed one of the many commercials airing which states, “the odds of a child being born with autism are 1 in 150.”  That number makes autism the fastest growing serious developmental disability in the United States; Centers for Disease Control statistics suggest autism is increasing at the rate of 10-17 percent annually.  It is more commonly diagnosed than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and HIV/AIDS combined. 

Autism is a complex neurological disorder and one of five developmental disorders that fall under the auspice of autism spectrum disorders (ASD), which means it manifests itself in many different ways.  Autism was first identified in 1943 by Dr. Leo Kanner, a psychiatrist of Johns Hopkins Hospital.  While there is no specific medical detection tool, although autism symptoms generally begin before the age of three. There is also no effective means to prevent autism, no fully effective treatments, and no cure for the developmental disorder.  It is four times more likely to afflict boys than girls; however, girls appear to manifest a more severe form of the disorder. 

The severity of symptoms for autism spectrum disorders varies greatly on a wide continuum.  Autism is characterized by impairments in verbal and nonverbal communication skills, social abilities, such as interacting with and being able to relate to others, by the need to follow rigid routines, and repetitive behaviors, such as obsessively arranging objects, rocking, and flapping hands.  Sometimes they engage in self-abusive behavior, such as biting or head-banging.  Individuals with autism often  have narrow and intensely obsessive interests in one specific area, so much that they become veritable experts in that subject, but have attention deficits in most other areas. 

Some autistic children have a reduced sensitivity to pain, but may exhibit extreme sensitivities to other stimuli, including sounds, foods, and textures.  These unusual reactions may contribute to behavioral symptoms, such as a resistance to being cuddled or hugged.  Almost all individuals with ASD have difficulty identifying and expressing their feelings.  They find it challenging to connect with others, often don’t make eye contact, and have trouble reading social cues from other people’s faces and gestures.  They commonly have little regard for the interests of other people and don’t realize that others may have different thoughts, plans, and perspectives than their own.

Given the prevalence of autism, one would expect the disorder to have a known etiology, but there are only theories.  It is certain, however, that a variety of combined factors are responsible.  Recent studies suggest a strong genetic basis, reporting up to 20 pairs of genes that might play a part in its development.  It has also been found that there may be a link to underdeveloped areas in the limbic system of the brain that are responsible for emotions, aggression, sensory input, and learning.  Because of the dramatic increase in the occurrence of autism in the U.S., scientists are looking into possible environmental causes, such as pollutants and toxins.  Researchers recently ruled out viruses associated with vaccinations as a probable cause of ASD.

Although not curable, autism is treatable.  No one “outgrows” autism, but studies show that early intervention and instruction, in an appropriate educational setting for at least two years during the preschool ages, can be critical in making significant improvements for many young children with autism spectrum disorders.  Effective treatment programs, such as applied behavior analysis and play therapy, must be tailored to each child’s unique strengths, weaknesses, and needs, but specifically focused on developing language, social, and cognitive skills.  For some, these treatments have proven to be very successful in helping kids on the spectrum lead full and active lives.

“Parents are usually the first to notice unusual behaviors in their child or their child’s failure to reach appropriate developmental milestones.  Some parents describe a child that seemed different from birth, while others describe a child who was developing normally and then lost skills.  Pediatricians may initially dismiss signs of autism, thinking a child will “catch up,” and may advise parents to “wait and see.”  New research shows that when parents suspect something is wrong with their child, they are usually correct.  If you have concerns about your child’s development, don’t wait: speak to your pediatrician about getting your child screened for autism.” (Acquired from Autism Speaks web site, June 10, 2009.) 9

For further information about autism, internet search engines can lead to numerous web sites.  Many of the facts contained within this article were obtained from www.autismspeaks.org, www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/autism.htm, (National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke), and www.autism-society.org.

Dear Meg & Max,

Halloween is coming up and my parents say that I am too old to go trick-or-treating.  Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I really wanted to do something for it with my friends.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Retired Trick-or-Treater

Dear Retired,

You can always have a Halloween costume party, where you and your friends dress up in costumes and play Halloween themed games. This way you can still have fun with your friends without going trick-or-treating. You can go to a haunted house, corn maze, or a scary movie with your friends, as well.  Just have fun with it.

Sincerely,
Meg & Max

Dear Meg & Max,

All of my friends have a Facebook profile and I don’t.  My parents don’t want me to have one because they don’t think it is safe, but I really want to have one because my friends talk about Facebook all the time.  What can I do to convince my parents to let me have one?

Sincerely,
Want to be on Facebook

Dear Want to be on Facebook,

Maybe if you could show your parents the safety features on Facebook they would see that if you are responsible, Facebook is pretty safe.  You can also suggest that they get on Facebook as well, so that they can monitor what you put on your Facebook.  This would assure them that you are being responsible.

Sincerely,
Meg & Max

I am graduating from college next year, and with the economy so bad, what should I do to get myself one-step ahead of the pack?

Many soon-to-be college graduates are going through similar struggles and concerns. With only about 30 percent of graduates obtaining jobs right out of school, the big, bad world looks very scary. There are steps you can take to get yourself ahead of the game. For starters, seek experience in your field of study while you are in college. Internships are a great way to learn about a particular field of study, while building a resume of experience. More importantly, internships often lead to permanent employment.

In addition to internships, here are a few practical tips to improve the odds of landing a job after graduation:

Build positive employer references. Positive references from previous employers are important. Do your very best even if it is a summer job.
Stand out in the crowd. Keep your resume up-to-date by checking web sites with resume templates. Resumes are often overlooked and stuck at the bottom of the pile, especially when they are difficult to read or contain spelling errors. When you have concise, to-the-point experience, future employers will be able to access necessary information quicker and are more willing to consider you for hire.

Leverage your contacts. Don’t be bashful about calling on family friends to help you find jobs. The fact is, having a contact on the inside improves the odds of landing a position.

Consider pursuing an advanced degree. Advanced degrees are becoming the norm in today’s job market so don’t rule out the possibility.

Never give up. Finding that first job can be time consuming and difficult. You will undoubtedly face many rejection letters, but never give up.

It seems like all my friends are getting engaged, married, having babies, or all three! Am I a fool for waiting?

The temptation and pressure to get married and start a family are enormous. When you are in a serious relationship, often infatuation takes over and common sense goes out the door. Nevertheless, DON’T rush things. The fact that over 50 percent of marriages fail should send a strong signal to avoid rushing into lifetime commitments.

It’s easy to think that time is running out, but believe me, it’s not. Have fun and enjoy your twenties because you will never get them back. You have so much time for all these experiences, so don’t feel like you need to rush. We have all heard the saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea… This couldn’t be any more accurate. Before making huge life decisions, think carefully about if you are emotionally mature for the commitment.

Remember, after the wedding, and honeymoon, the REAL world begins, and it isn’t as romantic and glamorous as you might think. The next time you think you are ready to say ‘I do,’ stop and ask yourself if you are ready to share toothpaste with this person for the rest of your life….

For as long as I can remember my parents have paid for everything including new clothes, car expenses, and entertainment. Now that I am an adult, I am having to pay for these things with my own money. I didn’t realize how much daily living expenses cost, and I am having a hard time being frugal with my money. How can I save while also being able to go out and have fun?

Many young adults struggle with saving money. As kids, its difficult to comprehend how much things cost when our parents pay for everything, but as we get older it comes as more of a reality. Growing up isn’t all fun and games; it comes with great responsibility, which includes managing money. I have a few suggestions that have helped me get through tough times without mom and dad there to help. Budgeting is a great way to help spend with your hard-working money wisely. Knowing all of your monthly expenses ahead of time will help you not over-spend. Things such as rent, groceries, and utility bills are necessities, and should therefore be set aside. The money that’s left can be used for entertainment. Before you buy that cute top in the store window, think twice if you can really afford it. Another good way to save money is to plan activities that are less expensive or free. Making meals at home is a good way to save money. Have your roommates/friends pitch in five to ten dollars and head to the grocery store for your favorite meal. This way, everyone gets plenty to eat, and you will have leftovers! Wyoming has lots of outdoor activities and places to explore during these hot summer months. Try going for a hike, taking a float trip, or a movie in the park. These are all free and fun activities that will get you off the couch and “around Cheyenne.”

Dear Meg and Max,

Now that school is out, I have a hard time finding things to keep me busy during the day.  I used to be involved in after-school activities such as basketball, dance, and youth group at church, but those don’t go on during the summer months.  What fun stuff is there to do in Cheyenne over the summer for teens?

Sincerely,
Bored Teen

Dear Bored Teen,

We often find ourselves with a lot of free time during the summer as well. There are many fun, different activities that teens can participate in throughout these hot months.  Finding a summer job is a great way to make some extra spending money while passing the time. Many local employers are looking for part-time, young people to help daily tasks. The movie theatres, the mall, or restaurants are good places to look for “Help Wanted” signs.  Doing community service is another great way to service others,while feeling good about yourself.  These hours can also be put on transcripts. Colleges often look for students who are well-rounded and participate in their communities when looking through applicants. 

Sincerely,
Meg and Max

Dear Meg and Max,

My parents always drag me on long road trips to visit relatives or sight-see over the summer. I really dread these times in the car when my siblings and I fight and get on each other’s nerves. The car ride seems to go so slow, and I get incredibly bored. What are some fun car games/activities that the whole family can enjoy?

Sincerely,
Are we there yet?

Dear Are we there yet,

Long road trips with the family can be very boring if you don’t go prepared. There are many different games and activities to help the time go by faster.  The Grocery Store game is a fun one that families of all ages can participate in, and it’s very simple.  You start out with someone saying a grocery store item that starts with the letter “A” and each person has to say an “A food” without repeating someone else’s word.  Whoever gets stuck has to move onto the next letter in the Alphabet.  Another fun way to pass the time is the “License Plate Game,” where everyone tries to spot all 50 states on passing license plates.  “I Spy” is another game that many people are familiar with where a person says, “I Spy…” and the other person has to find what you said.  These are just a few family-fun games that will not only keep you entertained, but keep everyone happy! =)

Sincerely,
Meg and Max

Dear Meg & Max,

I graduated high school this year and am looking at going to college in the fall, however it’s so expensive to further my education and neither my parents nor I can afford it. I don’t want to give up my dream of getting a degree; what can I do?

Sincerely,
Wannabe college student

Dear Wannabe college student,

Do not fret! There are many options; however they will take some time and effort on your part. Hit the internet and start searching for some scholarships and grants. There are many websites available that will help you find money for college, whether they be awarded to you or loans you’ll eventually pay off in the future. Search, search, search! Once you’ve exhausted the scholarships route make sure to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), which is needed in order to apply for financial aid. From there, the school you are attending will help in providing student loan options. There are definite ways to further your education, you just have to be willing to take the time to look and apply! Good luck!

Sincerely,
Meg and Max

In recognition of the contributions made by older workers, the U.S. Department of Labor recently declared the week of September 20 – 26, as National Employ Older Workers Week.  The week also showcased the Senior Community Service Employment Program (SCSEP), which is designed to help low-income, mature individuals get the training they need to find good jobs in their communities.

“Because of the current economic situation, many older people are finding it necessary to work longer, look for new jobs or return to work after retirement,” said Amy Reyes,  Employment & Training Coordinator for Experience Works, the nonprofit organization that operates the SCSEP in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Reyes added that the situation for older people seeking jobs is often difficult because of the large number of people of all ages who need to find work. In August 2009, there were nearly two million Americans, age 55 and older, unemployed and looking for work, up 69 percent from the same time last year. 

“Finding a job is especially difficult for older people who might have been out of the job search process for several years and are not familiar with current résumé styles or the process of applying for jobs online. Also, older job seekers might lack technical and computer skills required in today’s workplace,” she said.  “Through the SCSEP, Experience Works assists older people with self-assessments, computer skills training, the job search process, and finding an appropriate training assignment with a local community service agency. The goal is to provide participants with the skills and tools to transition from their community service assignments to regular employment with a local employer.”

David Keller, resident of Cheyenne, knows firsthand how life can change in a minute. Due to unforeseen circumstances, David found himself homeless, unemployed, and living in his car in July 2009.  He had filled out 30 applications during the past year and was unable to find work. David saw advertising about the Experience Works Program at the Wyoming Workforce Center. Soon after he contacted the local office, he began his paid employment training at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter.  David proved to be an excellent worker and within one week, he was offered permanent employment.  David lived in a tent for the first six weeks of his employment and saved enough money to rent a small apartment that he now calls home.  He loves taking care of the animals at the shelter and assisting in adoption counseling and is proud to say he has done 40 since he has been there. “I love what I’m doing,” he says.  David added, “The Experience Works Program is great, and I recommend it to anyone who is over 55, has limited income, and is struggling to find employment.”

For more information about the SCSEP and Experience Works, visit www.experienceworks.org or call 1-800-450-5627. Cheyenne office 307-634-7417.

WASHINGTON—Today, AARP President Jennie Chin Hansen is testifying before the House Committee on Ways and Means during its hearing on “Health Reform in the 21st Century.”  As she did in testimony before the House Energy and Commerce Committee yesterday, Hansen discusses the health care needs of older Americans, including affordable coverage for 50- to 64-year-olds and prescription drugs for people in Medicare.  Excerpts from Hansen’s statement follow:

“Enacting legislation to give all Americans quality, affordable health coverage options is AARP’s top priority this year.

“The draft Tri-Committee legislation marks substantial progress toward this goal.

“Today I am proud to represent nearly 40 million members of AARP—half over age 65 and therefore on Medicare, and half under 65.

“Both age groups face serious problems in today’s health care system, and AARP commends the Tri-Committee for including critical reforms in its draft that will help AARP members of all ages.”

“To make insurance affordable for Americans age 50-64, AARP believes these individuals should be charged no more than twice what someone under 50 is required to pay for quality health coverage. Why?

“Because older may mean wiser, but it doesn’t mean richer. In fact, the income of uninsured adults age 18-24 is a little over $28,000 and for those 50-64 it is $30,000.”

“One of the greatest difficulties faced by our older members is the extraordinary out-of-pocket cost of health care. In fact, Medicare beneficiaries spend 30 percent of their income on health care costs, and they face costs that are six times the costs faced by those of us with employer-sponsored coverage. This is a particularly stark reality for the nearly half of all Medicare beneficiaries who have incomes of less than $22,000 per year.

“Prescription drugs are, of course, a big piece of Medicare beneficiaries’ out-of-pocket expenses, which is why AARP has made closing the doughnut hole and improving low income assistance programs top priorities in health care reform. The Tri-Committee has led the way on both of these vital issues, including the closure of the doughnut hole as well as important improvements to Medicare low-income supports in its draft legislation...”

To receive a complete copy of Hansen’s testimony, please contact AARP Media Relations at 202-434-2560.

For details on AARP’s health reform priorities, visit http://www.aarp.org/governmentwatch

AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan membership organization that helps people 50+ have independence, choice, and control in ways that are beneficial and affordable to them and society as a whole. AARP does not endorse candidates for public office or make contributions to either political campaign or candidates. We produce AARP The Magazine, the definitive voice for 50+ Americans and the world’s largest-circulation magazine with over 35.5 million readers; AARP Bulletin, the go-to news source for AARP’s 40 million members and Americans 50+; AARP Segunda Juventud, the only bilingual U.S. publication dedicated exclusively to the 50+ Hispanic community; and our website, AARP.org. AARP Foundation is an affiliated charity that provides security, protection, and empowerment to older persons in need with support from thousands of volunteers, donors, and sponsors. We have staffed offices in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

June 2009 – Many of the 46 million Americans suffering from joint pain caused by arthritis fear exercise will lead to further joint injury and pain. However, numerous studies have shown that moderate exercise can actually reduce pain naturally and decrease dependence on pain medications. 

A 2008 study published in Arthritis Care and Research concluded that regular exercise, specifically the Arthritis Foundation Exercise Program, is effective in significantly improving and managing arthritis pain. Key findings include participants reporting a decrease in pain and fatigue, an increase in upper and lower extremity function, and an increase in strength after participating in the basic, eight-week exercise program. Also, participants who continued the exercise program independently, beyond eight weeks, sustained improvement in reduced stiffness. 

Other studies have shown that losing just 10 pounds reduces pressure on the knee by 40 pounds, and that losing 15 pounds can reduce pain associated with osteoarthritis, the most common form of arthritis, by 50 percent. Walking just 30 minutes each day can ease joint pain, improve mobility, and reduce fatigue often associated with arthritis.

“Physical activity can help decrease arthritis pain, stiffness, inflammation, physical limitation, and potential disability,” said Pat Gottfried, President of the Arthritis Foundation Rocky Mountain Chapter. “Through the Arthritis Foundation’s Life Improvement Series land and water exercise programs, Arthritis Foundation certified instructors are able to provide joint-safe exercises.” 
  
Visit www.RockyMountainArthritis.org or call  800-475-6447 for more information on local exercise programs, including the Arthritis Foundation Aquatic Program.

About The Arthritis Foundation
Arthritis is the nation’s most common cause of disability with a nationwide economic impact of more than $128 billion annually.  The condition strikes all ages and knows no racial or ethnic boundaries.  46 million people have been doctor diagnosed and 300,000 children are affected. 

The Arthritis Foundation is the only nationwide, nonprofit health organization helping people take greater control of arthritis by leading efforts to prevent, control and cure arthritis and related diseases – the nation’s most common cause of disability.  For more information, contact the Rocky Mountain Chapter, serving Colorado, Montana and Wyoming at 800-475-6447 or online at www.rockymountainarthritis.org.

September 2009 - According to an article published in the March/April issue of Arthritis Today, Federal regulators approved a new biologic drug to treat Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), Psoriatic Arthritis and Ankylosing Spondylitis, conditions where the immune system attacks the joints causing pain, stiffness and restricted motion.

Rheumatoid Arthritis is a form of arthritis that occurs when the body’s immune system attacks the joints. RA affects nearly 1% of people in the United States and can lead to significant joint destruction and disability.
Psoriatic Arthritis is a condition that causes swelling and pain in the joints. It occurs in people with psoriasis, a chronic-life long skin disease. Not all people with psoriasis will develop this type of arthritis.

Ankylosing Spondylitis is a type of arthritis that primarily affects the spine or back. Ankylosing is a term that means stiff or rigid. Spondyl refers to the spine, and means inflammation. The joints and ligaments along the spine become inflamed creating stiffness and pain to the body.

In announcing the approval of golimumab (Simponi), a once-monthly, under-the-skin injection, Food and Drug Administration officials noted that the new drug was intended to be used in combination with methotrexate for cases of moderate-to-severe RA and alone or in combination with methotrexate for cases of active psoriatic arthritis or active ankylosing spondylitis.

Simponi belongs to a class of medications that block tumor necrosis factor-alpha, or TNF-a, a chemical signal for inflammation. This drug will carry a boxed warning about the increased risks of tuberculosis and invasive fungal infections associated with its use. The SmartJect Autoinjector, a more patient-friendly take on the syringe, will be sold with the drug and has received the Arthritis Foundation’s Ease-of-Use Commendation. 

“The steps we’re taking to minimize the risks will give patients the same level of safety protection required for other drugs in its class,” said Bob Rappaport, MD, director of the Division of Anesthesia, Analgesia, and Rheumatology Products in the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation.
In clinical trials, the most common side effects reported with the use of Simponi included respiratory infection, sore throat, and nasal congestion. 

About the Arthritis Foundation
Arthritis is the nation’s most common cause of disability with a nationwide economic impact of more than $128 billion annually. The condition strikes all ages and knows no racial or ethnic boundaries.  Forty-six million people have been doctor-diagnosed, including 300,000 children.

The Arthritis Foundation is the only nationwide, nonprofit health organization helping people take greater control of arthritis by leading efforts to prevent, control and cure arthritis and related disease.  For more information, contact the Rocky Mountain Chapter, serving Colorado, Montana and Wyoming, at (800) 475-6447 or online at www.rockymountainarthritis.org

WASHINGTON (AP) - It’s starting to get crowded in the 100-year-olds’ club.

Once virtually nonexistent, the world’s population of centenarians is projected to reach nearly 6 million by midcentury. That’s pushing the median age toward 50 in many developed nations and challenging views of what it means to be old and middle-age.

The number of centenarians already has jumped from an estimated few thousand in 1950 to more than 340,000 worldwide today, with the highest concentrations in the U.S. and Japan, according to the latest Census Bureau figures and a report being released Monday by the National Institute on Aging.

Their numbers are projected to grow at more than 20 times the rates of the total population by 2050, making them the fastest growing age segment.

Demographers attribute booming long-livers to decades of medical advances and improved diets, which have reduced heart disease and stroke. Genetics and lifestyle also play a factor. So, too, do doctors who are more willing to aggressively treat the health problems of people once considered too old for such care.

“My parents are 86 and 87 and they’re going strong, with my dad driving all over the place, so I’ve already told my financial planners that I’m going to live to at least 96,” said Susan Ryckman, 61, as she walked around New York City, an iPod and iPhone in hand.

“As long as I’m not mentally and physically infirm, I’d like to live as long as I can,” she said.

Japan, known for its low-fat staple of fish and rice, will have the most centenarians in 2050 - 627,000, or nearly 1 percent of its total population, according to census estimates.

Japan pays special respect to the elderly and has created a thriving industry in robotics - from dogs and nurses to feeding machines - to cater to its rapidly aging population.

Italy, Greece, Monaco and Singapore, aided by their temperate climates, also will have sizable shares of centenarians, most notably among women.

In the U.S., centenarians are expected to increase from 75,000 to more than 600,000 by midcentury. Those primarily are baby boomers hitting the 100-year mark. Their population growth could add to rising government costs for the strained Medicare and Social Security programs.

“The implications are more than considerable, and it depends on whether you’re healthy or sick,” said Dr. Robert N. Butler, president and chief executive of the International Longevity Center, a New York-based nonprofit group specializing in aging. “Healthy centenarians are not a problem, and many are. But if you have a demented, frail centenarian, they can be very expensive.”

Butler predicted a surge in demand in the U.S. for nursing homes, assisted living centers and other special housing, given the wave of aging boomers who will be at increased risk for Alzheimer’s disease. He said federal and state governments may have to reevaluate retirement benefits, age limits on driving and Medicare coverage as they struggle to redefine what it means to be old.

“We don’t have a major coordinating figure such as a White House counselor to reach across all departments, and we need one,” Butler said.

Wan He, a Census Bureau demographer who co-wrote the aging report, said families also will face more pressure. She noted that because of declining birth rates, there will be fewer family members to provide support if an older parent gets sick.

“For the current middle-aged people, it will be comforting to think they can live past 80,” she said. “At the same time, we might see 70-year-old ‘kids’ taking care of their centenarian parents. It’s a very stressful job, it’s not paid, and it can have a lot of psychological influences for the caretakers.”

Census estimates show:

- Come 2017, it will be the first time there will be more people 65 and older than there will be kids younger than 5.

- The population of people 80 and older is projected to increase 233 percent by 2040, compared with a 160 percent increase for people 65 and over and 33 percent for the total population of all ages.

- Childlessness among European and U.S. women age 65 in 2005 ranged from less than 8 percent in the Czech Republic to 15 percent in Austria and Italy. About 20 percent of women 40 to 44 in the United States in 2006 were childless.

- Due to low birth rates, Japan’s median age will increase from 37 in 1990 to 55 by 2050. The median age for the world during that same period will rise from 24 to 37, slowed by younger populations in Latin America and Africa.

- The median age in the U.S. will edge higher from 33 to 39 during that period, kept low by higher rates of immigration.

In the U.S., experts say rising rates of obesity for people who are more sedentary or eat too much junk food could take a toll on life expectancy. AARP and other groups are trying to promote healthier lifestyles.

AARP is conducting a 10-month pilot project in Albert Lea, Minn., aimed at extending the life span of residents by two years. The group is working with the city to make it easier to get around on foot or bike, develop social networks and provide healthier fast-food options, and is hoping to expand the effort to other cities.

A recent Pew Research Center poll of 2,969 adults found that Americans, on average, would like to live to 89; the current life span is 78. One in five people would like to live past 90, while 8 percent would like to pass the century mark.

“Our motto is that dancing boomers are forever young,” said Julie Dahlman, 62, co-founder of a 300-member boomers social club in Portland, Ore., that hosts dances, golf outings, hikes and wine tastings. Dahlman said that after caring for a 92-year-old mother with Alzheimer’s, she knew it was important to live life to its fullest.

“I’m silly with my girlfriends, and we still have a slumber party once in a while,” Dahlman said. “We’re not going to go away quietly.”